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July 2012

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So many different shades of white noise / so many memories glazed over with black ice

I'm not okay but it's all happening in slow motion, which makes it bearable. My head is screwed on wrong, it'll take at least $200 to fix it, and I've never been this broke in my life. It would be cheaper in Seattle, but that means giving up the small joke of a job I have, and most of my stability and comfort.

I dug myself a hole and now I am the hole. One day it'll get better but if one day comes too late and my mom has to sell the house I don't know how I'll live with myself. I try to keep moving but can't find direction; I'm not moving on, just moving around.

Lucy in the sky with
my heart in her hands
was the light that burned
the words from my lips,
lovingly brushed
the clumsy waxen effigies
from my back,
slowed my fall and set me
down among the lotus eaters
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