Filling up with words again, like a balloon. Stopped taking Wellbutrin, deflated slowly. A cheap balloon left in a dusty corner of the ballroom for months after the festivities, the layer of dust shifting like plate tectonics over the steady decrease in surface area. Had to have my mom sit dowm in front of me and watch me schedule the appointment, I couldn't even do that much for myself but familiar guilt and obligation got me there, started me reinflating slowly, reading more, letting out controlled bursts. Then I popped myself. Broke my leg, sank into a haze of pain & painkillers too light to float on, too thick to move through. Now I'm waking up. I'm learning to laugh from my belly again. Like a bellows, inflating myself. I wonder how big I can get this time.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.